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Artist
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Joined: 17 Jul 2005
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 Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 4:35 am Post subject: Sad news |
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Sad day. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Dough boy was survived by his wife Play Dough, three children, John Dough, Jane Dough, and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the Oven. The Funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.*R*I*P
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Dutchman
Joined: 17 Jul 2005
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Location: Hooterville
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| Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 4:57 am Post subject: |
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He was also rumored to be the real father of Mr. Bill.
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monkey1
Joined: 01 Jan 2007
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| Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 2:50 pm Post subject: Re: Sad news |
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| Artist wrote: | Sad day. The Funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.Or until golden brown.
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Danny Donkey stood at cliff's edge,pondering The End.The End to the lies and half truths.The End to non answer answers.The End to all that is bad.Danny Donkey threw his boss over the cliff and had a beer.The End. |
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Dutchman
Joined: 17 Jul 2005
Posts: 9064
Location: Hooterville
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| Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 8:16 pm Post subject: Re: Sad news |
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| monkey1 wrote: | | Artist wrote: | | Sad day. The Funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes. |
Or until golden brown.
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"Ah, but the strawberries! That's, that's where I had them." |
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bing77
Joined: 27 Apr 2007
Posts: 647
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| Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 7:52 pm Post subject: Dog and Cat |
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From the archives, 2008, and worth a second go-round
A day in the life of a cat and dog
The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while the other inmates and I are fed hash
or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my
contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless
must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an Attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body
at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they
merely made condescending comments about what a
'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard
that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.'
I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of
my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.
I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and Snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously Retarded.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the Guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have
arranged protective custody for him in an Elevated Cell, so he is safe.
For now.
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bing77
Joined: 27 Apr 2007
Posts: 647
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| Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 7:55 pm Post subject: |
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| Have to quit drinking before noon. I meant to make "Dog and Cat" a new thread, but . . . . |
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Artist
Site Admin
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Posts: 3810
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| Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 10:54 pm Post subject: |
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That is freaking hilarious!!!
Thanks!
_________________
"I don't make the rules. I just think them up and write them down."
Eric Cartman
- - -
"You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows."
Bob Dylan |
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Dutchman
Joined: 17 Jul 2005
Posts: 9064
Location: Hooterville
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| Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 11:24 pm Post subject: |
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The dog's diary reads like the Twitter posts of a certain OCM. I'll let you figure out which one. 
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"Ah, but the strawberries! That's, that's where I had them." |
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monkey1
Joined: 01 Jan 2007
Posts: 1169
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| Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 3:22 am Post subject: |
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| Dutchman wrote: | | The dog's diary reads like the Twitter posts of a certain OCM. I'll let you figure out which one. |
My dog Gypsy has her own Facebook page.The dog diary reads like an account of her day,except she often laments the lack of opposable thumbs with which she'd use my shotgun to blast Bob the neighborhood cat.
_________________
Danny Donkey stood at cliff's edge,pondering The End.The End to the lies and half truths.The End to non answer answers.The End to all that is bad.Danny Donkey threw his boss over the cliff and had a beer.The End. |
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Dutchman
Joined: 17 Jul 2005
Posts: 9064
Location: Hooterville
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| Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 6:12 am Post subject: |
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| monkey1 wrote: | | Dutchman wrote: | | The dog's diary reads like the Twitter posts of a certain OCM. I'll let you figure out which one. |
My dog Gypsy has her own Facebook page.The dog diary reads like an account of her day,except she often laments the lack of opposable thumbs with which she'd use my shotgun to blast Bob the neighborhood cat. |
Gypsy sounds smarter than my sister-in-law. Probably better looking, too. 
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"Ah, but the strawberries! That's, that's where I had them." |
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